I come from an Indian background. In our culture, there is a high pressure from the families on the young people to get married. The parents obviously desire that their children are well settled and this is not necessarily a bad thing, but once you hit your twenties (especially if you are a female) your parents and relatives begin to find suitable “rishtas” for you.
Due to pressure from family, friends and relatives, unmarried people begin to panic a little. This is almost inevitable but so be warned, rushed decisions may result in broken or dysfunctioning marriages.
Let marriage be held in honour among all. – Hebrew 13:4
The Bible tells us that marriage is a good thing. I can’t imagine my life without my wife. Sarita and I were engaged in 2011 and married in 2012. We made plans for our big day and our life together before our marriage. We prepared a short checklist to help us in our marriage – and I would like to share this with you.
If you are a professing Christian, then, at least, make sure that you are seeking to marry a person who is a professing Christian. Paul encourages Christians in 2 Corinthians 6:14 to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Why? Because being ‘yoked’ with someone who doesn’t share your faith and your interests in life will cause a lot of friction and uncertainty in marriage.
I hear some professing Christians say that they can convince their partners to convert to Christianity once they are married. It is a wishful and twisted thinking, in all likelihood, you may be departing from your own faith.
2. Premarital Sex
Simple advice: DON’T DO IT!
Honesty is the best policy. So many people lie about their family, age, past, job, status, health, and habits to find their marriage partners. Don’t build your relationship on a foundation of lies.
4. Family & Friends
Consider these things before your engagement/marriage!
- Do you know your in-laws? Do you they have any problem with your relationship? If so, why?
- Will you move out or stay with your parents? If so, why? I think most couples should move out as soon as they are married. This will save them from unnecessary family tensions.
- If you are planning to move out when you are married then do let your parents know in advance.
- You can learn much about your future husband or wife by observing his/her friends.
- Husbands to be: do you have any job? Or do you rely on your parents to pay your bills? If you are constantly relying on others to pay for your expenses then you are not ready to be married.
- How much is your combined salary?
- How much will you be saving?
- Are your outgoings more than your income – and why?
- Will you rent or buy your own property?
- How much are you planning to spend on your wedding?
- Who will manage finances – and why?
- Will you have your own children, will you adopt – or both?
- Who will cook?
- Who will clean?
- Who will pay the bills?
- Who will do the shopping?
I could have added a lot more, but I hope that this will get you thinking about one of the most important decisions you will ever make.
What do you think about this checklist?!?
I pray you will find this blog helpful.